I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
