you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
