It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
