I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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