I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
