You're my little dorito
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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