I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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