the day after is always just damage control
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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