too bad you live with your parents still
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
