just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
