it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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