I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
