I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
