look no pants
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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