Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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