I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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