Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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