her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
