McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
