found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
