I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
youre lurking in front of me
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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