What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
