someone threw a dead crab at me
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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