is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
