I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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