I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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