umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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