when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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