Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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