Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
