Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm getting married
To pizza
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
