I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
