you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
