I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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