im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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