The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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