dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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