3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
