The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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