I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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