I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
