Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
