I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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