Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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