You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
