5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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