Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
