i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
