so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
