a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
