He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
