so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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