I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
